Beyond “Fight or Flight”: Rethinking Stress

How often do you hear yourself—or others—declare, “I’m so stressed!” in the middle of a busy workday? The packed inbox, the endless to-do lists, the tight deadlines, the constant demands. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. But what if our everyday definition of “stress” is holding us back from managing it effectively—and even making things worse?

What Is Stress, Really?

Stress is the label given to the state we experience whenever our sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is activated in response to demands, pressures, threats, risks. Those triggers can be real, anticipated, or even simply imagined.

To put the SNS into context, here’s how our nervous system is organised.

Our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS)

Our SNS is our action/mobility system. It’s like our accelerator pedal. When we press it, it increases bodily functions. It energises, focuses, and mobilises, enabling us to rise to any occasion, not just danger; whether that’s getting dressed, getting a bus, finishing a report, chairing a meeting, or getting ready for a social event.

Our Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS):

Our PNS is our rest/digest/recover system. It’s like our brake pedal. It supports digestion, rest, and restoration, helping you recover after periods of SNS activation.

It’s the balance and timing between these two systems that matters when it comes to avoiding chronic, harmful, stress.

Busting the Myth: Stress is Not Just About Danger

Myth: We only experience stress in response to danger or risks.

Many believe that stress is only triggered in moments of threat, associated exclusively with the “fight or flight” response. This is a misconception.

Reality: Stress is not just what we experience in moments of danger, crisis or risk; it’s a natural part of a busy, modern life. Any demand that requires adaptation or effort activates our SNS and creates some level of stress.

Our SNS is constantly fine-tuning our body’s resources to help us respond to all kinds of demands:

Routine tasks: E.g. eating breakfast, getting dressed, driving to work, organizing priorities.

Non-routine activities: E.g. giving a presentation, juggling multiple projects, embracing a new opportunity, or preparing for an important conversation, learning a new skill.
Present or imminent danger: E.g. a car accident; being told you've been made redundant, an earthquake, an illness.
Risks: E.g. worrying about how you’ll perform in an upcoming interview, worrying about whether you’ll finish a project on time.

Good Stress vs. Harmful Stress

“Good Stress” (Eustress / Adaptive Activation): Not all stress is detrimental. In fact, good stress commonly referred to as ‘pressure’ (and sometimes called “eustress”) energises us, improves our concentration, helps us focus, enhances our performance and supports achievement.
“Harmful Stress” (Chronic Stress/ Maladaptive Activation): This is when our SNS is persistently activated (even at low levels), leaving insufficient time for our nervous system and body to return to a balance state (through activation of the parasympathetic nervous system). When our nervous system is constantly in a state of high alert it adversely affects our performance. Over time, this can lead to chronic stress, burnout, and health issues.

The Power of Perception

Research shows: Believing that all stress is harmful actually increases its negative effects. How you label your experience shapes how your body and mind respond. When you automatically label any experience of stress as “bad stress,” you inadvertently create more of it.

Quick Self-Check

The next time you feel that familiar internal shift—your heart rate subtly rising, a feeling of tension—ask yourself:

Is this stress I’m experiencing helping me rise to a challenge I’m ready for? (Likely good stress!)

Or am I feeling tense, tired, on edge, depleted and overwhelmed? (That’s harmful stress—and a sign to take action to rest and restore.)

Each time you pause to asked “What kind of stress am I feeling?” you tap into greater self-awareness and control instead of defaulting to labelling it as ‘bad stress’. If it is harmful stress you’re experiencing, you can take steps to down regulate your SNS and activate your PNS to calm your nervous system and prevent harmful chronic stress.

Chronic Stress and IBS

For those living with IBS reducing chronic stress is a key component in creating a lasting reduction in symptoms.

Practical Strategies

Here are just a few strategies you can implement to avoid and/or reduce chronic stress.

1. Name It to Navigate It: Instead of broadly labeling every experience of “stress,” as simply ‘stress’, identify whether it’s good or bad stress you’re experiencing.

2. Support Your Nervous System: Schedule intentional breaks. Even a brief pause allows your PNS to return your nervous system to balance. Take time during the day to do a couple of minutes of deep breathing to activate your PNS.

3. Reduce Pressure: Review the demands you're facing. Are they all important? Use a tool like the Eisenhower Matrix to organize and prioritize your tasks by urgency and importance. Say 'no' to new demands if you do not have the resources to meet them. Check that you're not automatically perceiving all new challenges as threats.

4. Intervene Early: Be watchful for signs of harmful stress—tension that won’t subside, constant worry, difficulty recovering after the workday, increased irritability, aggression, or withdrawal from social interactions. Then take action to reduce your stress level. Strategies include practicing relaxation techniques, lifestyle changes, time management techniques, being more assertive.

Key Takeaways

Stress is not just experienced in response to danger, it’s experience in response to all of life’s demands.
Stress can be beneficial (good) or harmful (bad).
Good stress helps you perform; bad (chronic) stress is harmful to your performance and health and needs to be managed and reduced.
Your perception and beliefs about stress influence its effects. If you believe stress is bad and you keep telling yourself you are stressed, you are likely to increase your stress level.

Reflection Prompt

How do you distinguish between energising, positive stress, and harmful, draining stress in your life? What strategies help you recover and reset during busy periods?